My Valentine

My husband and I were laying in bed last night reminiscing about our past. We've been together for over 10 years now and will celebrate our 8th anniversary this March. We've never been big Valentine's Day people, and started a tradition long ago of going on a date the week after Valentine's Day when the long lines are gone and all that delicious candy is 75% off. I'm such a bargain shopper that I might actually say that 75% off tastes better than full-priced candy! I also would like to mention that I'm not the biggest fan of the color pink. Mostly because I had a bad stomach as a kid, and pink reminds me of Pepto-Bismol, thus making Valentine's Day a shocking reminder of my tummy's dreadful past. Maybe I would feel differently about pink if I had a little girl!

Anyhow...although it's nice to spend a day set apart for all that "lovey-dovey" stuff with your special someone, those aren't the days that really make a relationship special. I explained to my husband last night that I feel like he is ingrained in every fiber of my being. I can't really separate where I end and he begins because in reality we are "one". I was so in love with him the day we got married all those years ago, but it doesn't even compare to the love I have for him today! Think flashlight versus spotlight. With my "flashlight" love, I saw him (even with some of his flaws), and I loved him as deeply as I could at that time. With the "spotlight" love, I see even more of him with greater clarity, the good and the bad and everything in between. I love him deeper because I know him more, and I see the amazing man that he is. So, I got to thinking...What are the things that take you from "flashlight" to "spotlight"? I've come up with a simple list that is true of my husband's and my relationship.

#1 Laughter-There's nothing greater than sharing a good laugh with your best friend. It keeps us young at heart and reminds us of the fun we have together.

#2 Forgiveness-The fact of the matter is we are both human, and humans make mistakes. We love each other enough to say, "I'm sorry", and we're able to forgive each other and let things go. Holding grudges doesn't fly in our house.

#3 Affection-We'll keep this PG, but whether it's holding hands while walking down the street, stealing a kiss when the kids are running wild or snuggling on the couch, sweet acts of affection should never be skipped.

#4 Friendship-We never stop getting to know each other. Investing in a life-long friendship means we keep learning about each other and building a bond through experiencing life together. We love, respect and support each other because that's what friends do!

#5-Communication-I remember talking for HOURS on the phone and in the coffee shop when we were dating. We loved communicating back then, and there is no reason for that to ever change. Whether we are having a disagreement or enjoying a random conversation about something silly, we always communicate. And in the case of communication, always be HONEST!

There are a bunch of other important things that make up the relationship we have together, but those are definitely some of the key points for us that have helped develop and keep the love that we have for each other going strong. We've always tried to live by a couple of basic principles in our relationship. The first: I'll take care of your needs, you take care of my needs, and everyone's taken care of. The second: Try not to have expectations, but accept everything you're given as a gift. While these are sometimes hard to live out, they are a good starting ground to work from. What are the things that make your relationship so special? Have you told your special someone the things you love and appreciate about them? Take the time to let them know how you feel about them and set some goals for yourself to show them through your actions. My current goal is to always greet my husband when he comes home from work. Whether I'm in the middle of cleaning house, cooking dinner or checking my Facebook account, nothing is more important than for my hubby to know he is loved to his core. Dropping what I'm doing and greeting him with a kiss is one way for me to show him.

In the end, I want to graduate from "spotlight" to "sun" love. Nothing is hidden from the sun, and I want to be that old couple holding hands on a park bench 40 years from now.

Happy Valentine's Day!