I use the term "dirt" because insecurities will bury you. You have to dig yourself out of them or they will literally suffocate the life right out of you. No matter how many times I try to steer clear of them, they always hunt me down. It's something that women in general struggle with from their youthful years to marriage to parenting to who knows when. It changes shape and hides behind different masks, but when it comes down to it, it always affects you the same. It makes you second guess yourself, it makes you feel not good enough, and it always hinders you from being who you were meant to be.
In most cases, insecurities are lies that swim through our minds and drown us one breath at a time. They are manifested by the littlest comment or the skewed view by which we see ourselves. Do you have insecurities? I know I do. I am a recovering people-pleaser. It's in my blood. I used to seek approval like a bloodhound. Although I have worked through many aspects of it, the way people view me still catches me off guard sometimes. Every once in a while an insecurity springs up, and I think, "Here we go again." So what do we do with them?
There are a few things I've learned over the years in dealing with my own personal insecurities that I'd like to share with you.
Communicate. Like I said earlier, insecurities are often lies. Plain and simple. It's important for you to communicate how you're feeling. Whether you confide in your spouse, a close friend or family member, it's important for you to voice out loud the thoughts swimming through your mind. Having someone you trust who can listen and act as a sounding-board will help you work through the issues you're dealing with. They can tell you if there is some truth to what you're feeling, if you are blowing things out of proportion or if you are misinterpreting things. They can also be a source of encouragement for you and help you along the way as you dig your way out of these filthy things that are so hindering.
Plan of Action. Insecurities can have a "snowball" effect. They make you feel bad which in turn causes more insecurities and so on. If you want to dig yourself out, then you need to have a plan of action. Whether it's telling yourself two good things you are proud of for every one thing you're not, setting goals to help you change something in your life that is causing insecurity or simply writing down your priorities and staying focused on the woman you are meant to be, find a way to push those thoughts from your mind and focus on the good things in your life. Then find a friend who will help you stay accountable and check in on how you're doing. Scared of what they might think? Well, guess what? They have insecurities too and probably need you just as much as you need them.
Pray. It may sound silly to some, but so often I find myself on my knees asking God to help me view myself the way He sees me. He created me for a purpose, and He wants me to be the woman that He destined for me to be. My insecurities stunt my growth and often keep me from being the wife, mom and friend that God intended for me. He sees me, the good and the bad, and He loves me just the way I am. I need to do the same. Accept who God made you to be and pray that He will take away any obstacles that will hinder your personal growth.
Accept Your Imperfections. You're not perfect. Nobody is! Accept the fact that there is always going to be someone "better" out there, you're going to make mistakes now and then and life is going to throw you some curve balls. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a manual, so you just have to do the best with what you've got. There is nothing wrong with being thankful for who you are while striving to become the best version of yourself. Give yourself a break. You're unique. Be glad about it!
Life is going to have ups and downs, good days and bad days (can we say hormones?). Insecurities are going to pop up, but they don't have to overwhelm us. Take an honest look at yourself and don't let those lies bury you. You're better than that. Dig yourself out, dust yourself off and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air as you keep moving forward.
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