Teamwork

I am learning more and more the importance of teamwork within a home. It builds a sense of pride and unity/belonging with those involved and also allows for everyone's daily lives to run smoothly.

I'm a stay-at-home mom on most days. However, I do work part-time substitute teaching and also work one day a week in retail to help supplement our income. This week I subbed everyday and also worked one evening in retail, so it ended up being a 40+ hour work week. This is NOT the norm around our house, and it's always interesting to see how the boys do with the change in their environment. My mom watched the boys for two days and my husband watched them for the other three. I am so thankful to both of them for taking on my daily duties, so I can get outside our home to work once in a while. My husband gets an A+ by the way. He had the house clean and the boys well taken care of during my hours away.

With that said, I couldn't have worked and our family couldn't have gotten through the week successfully without the sense of teamwork that my husband and I share. Our schedule and activities are ever-changing, and it's very important for us to keep a balanced household. We also want to instill this philosophy in our children. When you are a part of something that is important to you and that you can identify with, there is a sense of accountability/responsibility and a desire to work hard at it. My husband and I have been trying to live by a simple saying throughout our marriage..."I'll take care of your needs, you take care of my needs, and everyone's taken care of." It's a simple idea that teaches us to put our focus on others rather than ourselves. Although it doesn't always play out that way (we are only human and do make mistakes), it's a good goal to shoot for in our relationship and has served us well in our marriage.

As a couple we want our children to feel like contributing members of our family. We want them to feel secure in it and begin to develop an identity through what our family stands for. We try to build confidence and independence in them by allowing them to try new things on their own. Through trial and error, they learn persistence (keep on trying til they get it), they learn how to deal with and overcome failure, and they build confidence when they learn how to successfully do something. We also want to teach them responsibility within our family and also taking responsibility for their actions. They are responsible for their own choices and are rewarded for good choices through positive reinforcement and are disciplined for poor choices through consequences.

Responsibility is also learned through helping around the house. My husband and I both take part in keeping our house in order, and we feel it is important for the boys to take part in that as well. Whether it's cleaning up toys, putting their dirty clothes in the hamper, throwing their dirty diapers away, or putting their used cups and dishes in the sink, they are responsible to help with the upkeep of our home. As they get older, we will adjust their chores according to their responsibility level. At these young ages, they really enjoy participating and helping out. It makes them feel "big", and in turn, that "bigness" will help them as they learn new life skills in the future.

The last few months we've been dealing with the issue of lying with our 4 year old. I explained to him that the Browning family members are not liars and that we do not want to be associated with lying. Each of us has to do our part to be honest and tell the truth. I also explained that he will get in more trouble for lying than he would if he just told the truth. It has been a consistent conversation with him along with appropriate discipline, and we are now starting to see our efforts pay off. When he's in trouble and asked directly, he now tells the truth.

In dealing with the issue of lying, recently I've been thinking about family values and the characteristics we want our boys to identify with. The list my husband and I have come up with so far is Integrity (honest), Honor (loyal, respectful, dutiful, chivalrous), Loving and Kind. Now that we have a list to work from we are able to use different experiences to teach and instill these characteristics in our boys. We are a team, and it takes both of us as parents as well as the willingness of our children to represent these characteristics as a family.

On a side note, I think chivalry is a lost art form. It still seems to be around in the South, but in California, it's a rare sight to be seen. Now that my 4 year old (soon to be 5) is big enough to open doors, we have been teaching him to hold doors open for girls/women and say "Ladies first." The other day we went to a restaurant with two sets of doors. He held the first door for me and said, "Ladies fourst." At the second door he stood there and said, "Now it's boys fourst." I had to giggle. While he's still learning, at least I know he's got the idea of "taking turns" down.

Of course we will have many bumps along the way on this journey of building family values. I have slip-ups of my own everyday, and God is constantly working on helping me become the best version of myself I can be. BUT, it is a lot easier to get to where you want to be if you set goals as a family to work towards. If you don't have a goal to shoot for, you're going to miss every time! We are accountable to each other, and it builds unity within our family.

I talked on my last post about being "moms WITH purpose...ON purpose." Take some time to write down some goals for your family. Talk it over with your spouse and those who are old enough to understand and get their input. What characteristics do you as a family want to be known for/identify with? By setting goals and building an attitude of teamwork within your family, I think you'll see some amazing things happen in your home. Enjoy your "team-building"!

P.S.-It is VERY important that you and your spouse get some one on one time on a regular basis to connect and get on the same page. The best gift you can give your children is a happy healthy marriage. Date nights are great! I LOVE them! However, if you can't get away from the house, then make sure you set some time aside as a couple to talk and spend some quality time together after the kiddos go to bed. And remember, you're a team!